Hey Columbus crew—

Ever had one of those weeks where you spot a $2.5M hotdog-shaped mansion, dodge a shrub-ocalypse, and nearly get recruited into an underground Lego cult? Yeah, same.

Columbus is hitting peak chaos with food truck feuds, Fourth of July firework flexes, and dogs who definitely didn’t sign up for 90-degree blacktop.

Let’s dive into the madness:

🗞️ News You Missed – From private islands and coaster fails to dirty sodas and PB&J pizza, here's what Ohio's fever dream served up this week.

🔍 Hidden Gems – Where else can you chase ghost peppers, sip dirty soda, and eat PB&J pizza without legal consequences?

🎟️ What’s On This Week – Parades with attitude, zoo-side 5Ks, nostalgic bangers, and comedy with a side of chaos.

🚨 The Headlines

🏝️ $1.5M Private Island: Because Your Pool Floaty Just Won’t Cut It

Forget "lakefront views"—this Buckeye Lake home owns the whole damn island.

Cold hard facts:

• Onion Island is Ohio’s only private island listing (realtor’s words, not mine).

• 4 bedrooms, 1 swanky bathroom, and zero neighbors judging your midnight skinny-dip.

• Realtor Zach Pavol calls it "complete seclusion"... or "where you hide from in-laws."

Why care? Proof that "Ohio luxury" = "no one can hear you scream into the void."

→ Gawk at the rich

🎢 Cedar Point’s "Siren’s Curse": Coaster or Contortionist Torture Device?

Riders stranded twice in one week. Dutch engineering? More like Dutch oven.

The spicy details:

• Tallest, fastest "tilt" coaster in North America... when it works.

• Opening week stats: 2 breakdowns, 1 evacuation via rickety staircase, 40 minutes of existential dread.

• Follows Top Thrill Dragster’s legacy of "oops, we did it again."

Columbus takeaway: If you ride this, pack a parachute and a therapist.

→ Watch the chaos

🕊️ Blue Jackets Honor Kivlenieks: A Hero’s Legacy Lives On

Tribute video drops 4 years after tragic fireworks accident.

Key quotes:

• "He saved my son, my wife, and me" — Goalie Elvis Merzlikens (chills, every time).

• Played just 8 games but left a permanent mark.

• Team’s message: "Your memory stays with us every day, Kivi."

Why it hits: Some things > hockey. Grab tissues.

→ Feel the love

🎆 Fourth of July Fireworks: Where to Blow Stuff Up (Legally)

here’s our list of detonation zones:

Notable displays:

• Dublin: Fish at 8AM, parade at 11AM, blow sky at 9:45PM. Efficiency.

• Westerville: Taco trucks + Swiftie-worthy explosions.

• Worthington: "Walk or bike" (translation: parking = Hunger Games).

 🌭 Glizzy Glory: 4 Must-Try Columbus Hot Dogs

1. Talitas Burritos & Coneys (1335 Dublin Rd): Where burrito meets dog in holy matrimony.

2. Bowzers (2936 Brice Rd): Brice Road’s answer to "fancy wiener."

3. Toney’s Coneys (5266 W. Broad): Classic. Uncomplicated. Perfect.

4. Village Coney (418 E. Whittier): Dive bar dog royalty.

🥤 Dirty Soda Truck Alert: Mormon Moms’ Secret, Revealed

What the Fizz—Ohio’s first dirty soda-dedicated food truck. Run by 3 sisters who said: "Sprite + cotton candy + cream = genius."

Try: The "Lemonade Shakeup" topped with actual cotton candy. Diabetics, proceed with caution.

Stalking locations: Instagram

🍕 PB&J Pizza: Ohio’s Latest Culinary War Crime

Roscoe’s Pizza in Corwin dropped the "Sticky Icky":

• Peanut butter base + hamburger + bacon + hot pepper jelly.

• Vibe: "5-year-old’s fever dream meets stoner buffet."

Our take: Either revolutionary or felony-worthy. No in-between.

🔥 Face-Melting Wings: Columbus’ Spiciest Challenges

1. Mean Mug (3780 W. Broad): "Mistress Pain" sauce—deep regret, deeper flavor.

2. Atlas Tavern (8944 Lyra Dr): Reaper Buffalo wings. RIP your taste buds.

3. Mac’s Proper Pub (693 N. High): "No Refund" wings. Name checks out.

 Friday 4th July:

🎉 42nd Annual Doo Dah Parade + Party

A parade that’s more punk than patriotic. Expect satire, costumes, chaos, and unfiltered freedom. Come for the weirdness, stay for the after-party.

→ Victorian Village / Goodale Park

🎇 Mojoflo – Fireworks Panorama

Catch high-energy funk band Mojoflo while fireworks light up the sky. Beats, brews, and a view — doesn’t get more Fourth of July than this.

→ Edison Brewing Company, 7PM

🎺 Central Ohio Symphony: July 4th Concert

Picnic vibes + orchestral magic = a perfect holiday combo. Bonus points for showing up with lawn chairs and red, white, & blue gear.

→ Phillips Glen at Ohio Wesleyan University, 7:30PM

Saturday 5th July:

🎨 July Gallery Hop – Short North Edition

Short North turns into an art lover’s playground. Galleries open late, street performers out in full force, and more wine samples than you’ll admit.

→ Short North Arts District, 5PM–10PM

🎸 The Wallflowers

Yep, that Wallflowers. Still rockin’ like it’s 1996. Get ready for "One Headlight" nostalgia and some new surprises.

→ The Bluestone, 7PM

🎷 Tower of Power – Picnic with the Pops

Funk legends + symphony backing + fireworks = summer flex. Bring a blanket and someone to vibe with.

→ Columbus Commons, 8PM

Sunday 6h July:

🎶 Concerts on the Green – Stache Duo

Laid-back Sunday vibes with acoustic classics and original jams. Bonus: plenty of space to sprawl with snacks.

→ Worthington Village Green, 7PM

👟 Run Wild 5K – Columbus Zoo Edition

Run past zebras and finish by the elephants. It’s a race, a zoo visit, and a flex for your fitness app all in one.

→ Columbus Zoo and Aquarium, 8AM

🎶 Summer Night Music – Pickerington

End the weekend on a smooth note with live music in the park. Lawn chairs recommended, dancing encouraged.

→ Peace United Methodist Church, 6PM

Monday 7th July:

✍️ Adult Writing Workshop: Creativity as Self-Care (Part 1)

Time to put your feelings on paper — and maybe heal a little too. This guided writing session helps you tap into creativity as a mental health tool.

→ Thurber Center, 6PM

🎨 Creative Women of Color: In Her Words Tribute to Nikki Giovanni

A poetic visual ode to one of the greats. Stop by and see how local artists translate Giovanni’s words into color, shape, and power.

→ All People Arts Gallery

🧱 Sean Kenney’s Nature Connects

Lego sculptures. Botanical vibes. Wholesome family outing. This one’s a brick-built stroll through nature like you’ve never seen before.

→ Franklin Park Conservatory

Tuesday 8th July:

⚾ Columbus Clippers vs. Louisville Bats

Baseball and beer with your crew on a summer evening? Yes please. Grab a cheap seat and heckle like a pro.

→ Huntington Park, 6:15PM

🧒 It's Family Night @ Our Haus!

A one-off family night with food, games, and steins (of root beer too, probably). Great for a chill Tuesday outing with the crew.

→ Hofbrauhaus Columbus

🎲 Game Night with Bluey at Mona’s

Bluey fans, assemble! There’ll be games, treats, and likely some sugar-fueled chaos. Kid-friendly and low-key wholesome.

→ Mona’s Eats N Treats

Wednesday 9th July:

🎻 Kristen Ford and Rachael Sage

Indie meets soulful songwriting in this mellow two-act set. Think chill vibes, poetic lyrics, and the perfect excuse to nurse a cocktail while pretending you’re in a rom-com.

→ Natalie’s Grandview, 8PM

🎤 Phish

Jam band royalty lands in Columbus. Expect wild solos, extended grooves, and a crowd that knows every lyric and hasn’t washed their tie-dye in a decade.

→ The Schottenstein Center, 7PM

🎶 Tripping Daisy

Alt-rockers with deep '90s roots and psychedelic pop leanings. If you remember dial-up tones and Surge soda, this one’s for you.

→ A&R Music Bar, 7PM

Thursday 10th July:

🎭 2nd Annual Standup Showcase

Fresh talent. Real laughs. Possibly awkward pauses. Come support Columbus comedy at one of its most iconic clubs.

→ Columbus Funny Bone, 7PM

🎤 Max Fine – Stand Up Comedy

Deadpan delivery meets self-deprecating brilliance. Max’s style isn’t for everyone — but if it’s for you, it really hits.

→ The Attic Comedy Club, 8PM

🎸 Sam Barber – North America Tour

Emerging country/folk artist with a voice that makes you feel like you’re barefoot on a porch somewhere. Intimate, rootsy, real.

→ KEMBA LIVE!, 7PM

🤔Topic of the Week

Leave the pups at home, folks. With temperatures soaring and crowds everywhere, Columbus locals are begging festival-goers to stop dragging their dogs along. From paw burns to panic attacks, it’s not a good time for anyone with four legs. The subreddit had a collective meltdown over it and honestly, fair.

Here were some of our favorite responses:

• “Every dog I saw at ComFest looked one degree away from heat stroke. It’s not cute it’s abuse.”

• “It’s like people forget dogs aren’t furry little party accessories.”

• “If you wouldn’t walk barefoot on 90° pavement, why should they?”

That’s a wrap,

From private island FOMO to roller coaster PTSD, this week served drama hotter than Mean Mug’s wings.

If you survived the fireworks without losing an eyebrow, treat yourself to a dirty soda and a glizzy.

Until next week,
Stay loud. Stay leafy.

— Nate
Columbus Curiosity