Hey there, Columbus crew.

If this city were a person, it’d be the one who shows up to brunch with a spreadsheet of housing market stats in one hand and a shamrock shake in the other.

This week, we’ve got renters paying more than a down payment (oof), a log cabin built by caterpillar enthusiasts (yes, really), and $20 million for the arts (finally, someone’s funding my interpretive dance career).

But first, a quick poll:

(Trick question—both are equally chaotic.) Let’s dive in. 👇

🚨 The Headlines

🌲 Clintonville’s “Zillow Gone Wild” Log Cabin Hits Auction

Some real estate listings make you go "Hmm." This one makes you go "Wait... what?"

Meet the 1938 log cabin that just earned its spot on Zillow Gone Wild - built by:

• Frank Rorer, a man so committed to his pioneer fantasy that he hauled 20 tons of 19th-century tavern logs to Clintonville

• His wife, one of only three people in America who professionally raised caterpillars (because why not?)

The Specs:
✔ Authentic "not a single nail" construction
✔ Sunroom perfect for questioning life choices
✔ Upstairs pink-tiled bathroom (simultaneously fabulous and unsettling)
✔ Exactly 0 square feet dedicated to caterpillar habitats (oversight?)

The Story:
This was actually their third house on the property - the first being cobbled together from washing machine crates (Great Depressioncore). The 1939 Dispatch article called them "unusual." That's Ohio for "delightfully unhinged."

Now hitting auction at $100K - about what you'd pay for a parking spot in the Short North, but with way better stories.

→ Take a look inside

🏠 Renters: You've Already Paid a Down Payment... In Rent

Let’s play a fun game called "Where Did Your Money Go?"

According to Zoocasa, the average Columbus renter has shelled out $71,280 over five years, $5,000 more than needed for a 20% downpayment on the average home in Columbus. Instead, you got:

✔ A lease that renews at +15% annually
✔ A landlord who considers "maintenance" a foreign concept
✔ The privilege of paying someone else's mortgage

But wait! Local realtors insist homeownership isn’t just for trust fund babies:

• OHFA programs: First-time buyer help (if you make under $90K)
• FHA loans: As little as 3.5% down
• VA/USDA loans: 0% down if you’re military or rural-curious

"Most people don’t realize they qualify for assistance," says realtor Shaun Simpson. Translation: Stop doom-scrolling Zillow and talk to a lender.

→ How to turn rent checks into a mortgage

🎨 City Drops $20M on Arts (Thanks, Your Event Tickets!)

That little extra fee on your concert tickets and hotel stays? It's actually doing something cool. Columbus just funneled $20 million into local arts through the Greater Columbus Arts Council, and here's what that buys:

• 81 new murals (and counting) across the city
• Pay-what-you-can nights at theaters
• Grants for 1,500+ starving artists
• Probably some weird performance art involving mimes and kazoos

The best part? This isn't coming from your taxes - it's all from those small fees you barely notice. So next time you grumble about ticket charges, remember you're basically a modern-day Medici. Fancy.

→ Where your 50 cents is going

🚗 Ohio Finally Stops Taking Licenses Over Unpaid Tickets

Good news for anyone who's ever gotten stuck in the "can't pay fine → can't drive to work → can't make money to pay fine" cycle:

Starting April 9, Ohio is ending license suspensions just for unpaid court fines. Because turns out, taking away someone's ability to drive to their job isn't the best way to get them to pay up.

The deets:
✔ Thousands of suspensions automatically lifted
✔ Still applies for DUIs and child support cases
✔ ACLU calls it a "game changer" for low-income workers

Your Uber driver just breathed a sigh of relief.

→ How to get your license back

🥩 Fogo de Chão Brings Meat Tornado to Polaris (March 31)

The Brazilian steakhouse taking "all-you-can-eat" to Olympic levels is finally here. At Fogo de Chão, expect:

• Gauchos armed with swords of sizzling picanha (that's fancy talk for "best damn steak you'll have this year")
• That one friend who insists they're "just here for the salad bar" (liar)
• A $1.5M renovation of the old O'Charley's - because apparently linen napkins don't come cheap

Pro move: Wear elastic waistbands, pace yourself (or don’t), and never make direct eye contact with the salad station.

→ Meat your destiny

🛍️ 5 Sales Worth Your Paycheck This Week

Spring’s here, and so are the excuses to "save money" by spending it. These deals actually matter:

1️⃣ Amazon Big Spring Sale (thru 3/31)
From skin care products to popular Apple devices

2️⃣ Walmart’s Creami Ice Cream Maker
$169 (with 2 pints) = summer solved

3️⃣ Tarte 30% Off Everything
Code FAM30 for cult concealer & lip gloss

4️⃣ Dooney & Bourke Bags Spring Flash Sale
Treat yourself (or your loved one) to luxury

5️⃣ Target Circle Week (thru 3/29)
40% off Instant Pots, 30% off Legos

🍕 Bobby Jo’s Pizza Brings Pop-Up Pies to the Hilltop Tomorrow

Columbus chef and Hilltop native Danny Phillips is launching a roving pizza pop-up starting at Third Way Coffee—and it’s bringing crust with a capital C.

At Bobby Jo’s, expect:

• Crispy-not-cracker crust with chewy, dreamy texture
• Toppings like banana peppers, sausage, and double pepperoni that go hard
• A pizza stand born from love, loans, and late-night dough obsession

First stop: March 28, 5–9 p.m., Third Way Coffee (3059 W. Broad St).

Pro move: Try The Bob’s Way and say a little thank you to your taste buds.

→ Follow for future drops

Friday, March 28

🎶 Live Music Fridays at Wyandotte Winery – Sip vino, listen to local tunes, and unwind with no cover charge.

→ Wine down without breaking the bank

👢 Friday Glow Skate at Skate Zone 71 – Lights, music, and non-stop skating vibes for just $13. Pure weekend energy.

→ Glow up and roll out

🎨 Spring Art Breaks at Columbus Museum of Art – Drop in for some hands-on creativity during your day off. It’s free with admission—and admission is free if you wait until Sunday 👀

→ Get your hands messy (in the best way)

Saturday, March 29

🌸 Japanese Spring Festival at Franklin Park – Celebrate cherry blossoms with food, performances, and student-led booths. Totally free!

→ Get your hanami on

🍩 Butler County Donut Trail – A road trip + sugar rush? Yes, please. Grab a passport and snag freebies at every stop.

→ Follow the donut crumbs

🛍️ South Drive-In Flea Market – Browse quirky finds and vintage treasures for just $1-$3 entry.

→ Hunt for hidden gems

Sunday, March 30

🎨 Free Sundays at Columbus Museum of Art – Explore world-class exhibits, hands-on art spaces, and creative corners—all for zero dollars.

→ Bring your curiosity, not your wallet

🦋 Blooms & Butterflies at Franklin Park Conservatory – Watch butterflies flutter around blooming flowers. It’s peak spring magic.

→ Float through the conservatory

🎻 Cold Chocolate Folk Concert – Chill vibes and Americana tunes at a Sunday concert that’s just $10–$15.

→ Tune into something sweet

Monday, March 31

🍦 Pizza Mondays at Studio 35 with Fibonacci’s – $10 pizza and movies? Name a better combo.

→ Grab a slice and stay for the flick

🕺 The Bachelor Bingo Night at Bada Bean Bada Booze – Dramatic roses, chaotic cards, and cheap drinks.

→ Bingo, babes, and betrayal

🎧 Anberlin + Copeland at Athenaeum Theatre – A throwback emo banger with melodic feels.

→ Scream your feelings, respectfully

Tuesday, April 1

🎸 Archer Oh at Rumba Café – High-energy indie rock with a Midwest heart.

→ Come for the riffs, stay for the sweat

🧠 Trivia Tuesday at Land-Grant Brewing Co. – Beer + brain power = your new favorite weeknight.

→ Flex your useless knowledge

🎬 Discount Tuesdays at Cinemark – $5.50 movies? That’s basically a steal.

→ Smuggle in snacks and call it a win

Wednesday, April 2

🏀 Mary J. Blige, Ne-Yo & Mario at Nationwide Arena – R&B royalty in one night? Say less.

→ Bring your best slow-jam swagger

🎉 Wiggin’ Out Wednesdays at District West – Drag, drama, and high kicks.

→ Come for the wigs, stay for the wow

🖌️ Wild Storytime at Ohio Wildlife Center – Books, animals, and wild fun for the littles.

→ Storytime just got way more pawsome

Thursday, April 3

🍷 House Wine Tastings in Worthington – Sip through a curated lineup with fellow wine nerds.

→ Swirl it, sip it, show off your fake sommelier face

⚽ CBJ Hockey + Military Appreciation Night at Nationwide Arena – Cheer for the Jackets and honor local heroes.

→ Loud, proud, and full of spirit

🎭 Get Fit with Line Dance Fitness at Columbus Recreation Center – A workout that’s basically a party.

→ Boot scootin’ your way to cardio

📸 Picture of the Week

POV: You just heard someone say “Buc-ee’s isn’t that big of a deal.”

Shoutout to abito_OSU_Econ for this fierce and feathered mood from the Grandview Eagles Nest. Majestic, mildly stressed, and just one coffee away from taking flight. 🦅📚

Add #ColumbusCuriosity to your photo for a chance to be featured next week :)

That’s it for this week, Columbus! If you're house-hunting, art-funding, or just here for the meat tornadoes, remember: Columbus is the city that keeps you on your toes (usually because the sidewalks need repair).

Got a tip? A rant? A caterpillar-raising hobby? Hit reply—we’re all ears.

Until next time, stay curious, stay caffeinated, and remember: the best deals in life are on Discount Tuesdays.

— Nate
The Columbus Curiosity

P.S. Forward this to a friend. If they buy the log cabin, you get dibs on the sunroom.