Hey there, Columbus crew.

Big week: Buyers are finally in the driver’s seat, potholes are being attacked with a vengeance (sort of), and traffic cameras are going extinct faster than your New Year’s resolutions.

Also on the docket: secret cake shops, a downtown legend winning big, and Dairy Queen testing your willpower with 85-cent Blizzards (spoiler: you will fail).

But first, a quick poll:

🚨 The Headlines

🏠 Columbus Buyers: "Wait, Sellers Are Giving Me Money Now?"

The Columbus housing market has pulled a full plot twist—sellers are now the ones sliding into buyers' DMs with stacks of cash. Realtors are out here slinging incentives like free samples at Costco, and honestly? It’s about time.

Here’s the breakdown:

• $7,500 in closing costs (aka "Please, for the love of Zillow, take this 3-bedroom off my hands before I have to stage it with another fake bowl of lemons")

• $10K down payment assistance (even if your credit score is "I once had a Blockbuster card in 2007")

• 2% interest rates for 'mixed-income neighborhoods' (translation: "We gentrified too fast and now we’re desperate—plz come back, we miss you")

Should you proceed with caution? Absolutely. Because let’s be real—if sellers are suddenly throwing money at you, it’s either a steal of a deal or a sign that the market’s about to pull a "psych!" and skyrocket again next month.

If a realtor says "It’s a great time to buy!" while sweating nervously, maybe get that in writing.

→ Read the fine print 

🚧 ODOT’s $446M "Let’s Fix Everything (But Also Create New Traffic)" Plan

Ah, spring in Columbus—when the flowers bloom, the birds chirp, and orange barrels multiply like rabbits. ODOT’s back with another "we swear this’ll fix it" construction spree, and this year’s budget could fund a small country.

Highlights from this year’s Construction Season Bingo card:

✔ I-70/I-270 Brice Rd. Interchange – Now with 200% more existential dread and a side of "why did I think 5 PM was a good time to leave?"
✔ Pavement reconstruction – Nothing says "spring" like your car’s suspension getting a full Ohio pothole stress test
✔ I-70/I-71 Downtown Ramp Up – A 15-year saga that’s somehow still going

Jason Sturgeon (ODOT’s MVP) admitted: "Weather knocked over our barrels like drunk dominoes." Relatable. Between high winds sending construction drains rolling down ditches and tornado threats making everyone question their life choices, it’s a miracle any of this gets done.

At least 16 bridge projects and 12 pavement fixes mean we might stop bottoming out on 315 by 2026. Maybe.

→ Avoid the chaos

🛣️ Mayor Ginther’s "Parsons Ave. Glow-Up" Initiative

Parsons Avenue’s getting a full Sims-style makeover, and the city’s throwing everything at it—541 bags of litter removed, 34 trees, 11 crosswalks, and at least two felony arrests.

The city’s to-do list so far:

• 78 hours of pothole patching 

• ADA ramp cleaning 

• 117 new street signs 

The real test? Whether this actually sticks or if Parsons Ave. is back to being a "before" photo in six months.

→ Tour the makeover

📸 Traffic Cameras: "Rest in Pixels"

Ohio’s new law just dropped a hammer on traffic cameras, and townships can no longer ticket you via mail.

The hot debate:

• ACLU: "Privacy win! No more Big Brother watching you roll through that technically yellow light."

• Safety studies: "But they reduce crashes by 21%!" (allegedly)

• Everyone else: "Cool, now can we fix the potholes?"

Ohio now joins nine other states that have fully banned these cash cows. But let’s be real—this won’t stop cities from finding new ways to tax your lead foot.

Final thought: If you’ve ever gotten a $120 "I swear that light was yellow" ticket, pour one out for the cameras tonight.

→ Speed (responsibly) ahead

🍩 Dairy Queen’s 85-Cent Blizzard Deal

Celebrating 85 years of "I swear I’ll just get a small" lies, DQ is practically giving away brain freeze.

New flavors to wreck your diet:

• Mixing Bowl Mashup: Brownie batter + cookie dough

• Dipped Strawberry Cheesecake: For when you want dessert inside your dessert (meta)

• Cotton Candy Blizzard: Turns your tongue into a highlighter (worth it)

Warning: The "small" is a trap. You’ll leave with a large and existential regret.

→ Brain freeze awaits

🎂 Love Riley Cakes: British-Inspired Sugar Bombs

Riley Harris trained under a London pastry chef, so these treats come with unwarranted sophistication.

What’s on the menu?

• Macarons that’ll make you fake a French accent ("Ooh la la, zis is magnifique")

• Vintage cakes with "I’m too pretty to eat" energy (but you will)

• Cookie sandwiches: Because why choose when you can have both?

Perfect for: Birthdays, breakups, or "I survived Monday" celebrations.

→ Sweet tooth heaven

🏆 Downtown’s Argentine Gem Wins Big

Victor Omar D’Angelo—the culinary mastermind behind Barroluco Argentine Comfort Food and Palmas Tropical Escape—just scored Ohio’s 2025 Small Business Person of the Year, and honestly? We’re not surprised.

The journey:
• Started at Latino Fest (2012) → food truck (2016) → Pearl St. shop (2018)
• Opened Palmas cocktail bar weeks before COVID (legend)
• Wins with empanadas + community love

Visit:
• Barroluco: 47 N. Pearl (Mon-Fri 11am-3pm) - lomito sandwich = 🔥
• Palmas: 46 N. High (Fri-Sat 10pm-2:30am) - tropical nightcap needed

Next stop: D.C. in May for the national finals. But really, we all won—because now we get to drink fancy cocktails at Palmas and say "we knew him when."

Friday, April 4

🎤 Friday Night Fights Comedy Roast Battle – Hosted by Compton

Verbal punches will be thrown. No ref, no rules—just savage jokes and bruised egos.

→ Laugh and flinch at the same time

🖼️ Adam Hernandez Art Showcase

Local legend. Cosmic beasts. Wild colors. Sip a craft beer and vibe with mythological murals.

→ Drink in the art (and also the beer)

📚 Echoes of Ohio's Indigenous Legacy Exhibit

History that hits. Art that speaks. A powerful walk through Ohio’s Indigenous past and present.

→ Get some real perspective

Saturday, April 5

🥚 Columbus Bunny Run at Franklin County Fairgrounds – Run, hop, or jog your way into spring. Bonus: costumes encouraged.

→ Lace up and bounce into bunny season

🖼️ Short North Gallery Hop – Art, music, and local flavor. Aka the perfect excuse to window-shop and people-watch.

→ Put on your artsy hat and wander free

🎟️ Columbus Crew vs. Montreal (Youth Soccer Night) – Come for the game, stay for the energy. Tickets from $38.

→ Try cheer loud enough to scare the opposing goalie

Sunday, April 6

🎭 'PERSIST' – A thoughtful performance celebrating resilience and creativity through movement, sound, and story.

→ Lean into the art of persistence

🎸 Chuck Ragan & Nate Bergman – Folk-punk legends bringing raw lyrics and acoustic soul to the stage.

→ Catch the strum of your life

🎼 Stabat Mater | Columbus Children’s Choir & Orchestra – Prepare for goosebumps. This emotionally powerful piece blends angelic voices with sweeping strings.

→ Come for the harmony, stay for the feels

Monday, April 7

🎳 1/2 Price Bowling at Star Lanes – It’s Manic Monday, but better. Knock down pins, not your mood.

→ Aim for a strike, but celebrate the gutter

🪨Stone Masters (50+) Rock Climbing Day – Proof that gravity is no match for golden-year grit.

→ Scale your Monday

🥗 Smoothie Deal at Playa Bowls (New Albany) – Buy a bowl, get a smoothie free from 3–5pm. Health meets happiness.

→ Munch smart, sip sweet

Tuesday, April 8

🎬 Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour – Extreme sports. Epic landscapes. Edge-of-your-seat visuals.

→ Go on a cinematic adrenaline rush

🎹 AJ Angelo at the Keys – Piano, passion, and an old soul with new stories.

→ Catch the vibes, sip something smooth

🧵Sewing Skill Builder at The Sewing Hive (FREE) – Thread your way into a new hobby.

→ Stitch yourself a soft life

Wednesday, April 9

🐇 KidX Alice in Wonderland at Polaris (FREE) – A whimsical event that feels straight out of a storybook.

→ Chase the white rabbit (and a sugar high)

🎨 Kids Crafts at IKEA (FREE) – Let the little ones get messy somewhere else. You're welcome.

→ Craft it up, no cleanup stress

🎧 Big Bad Music Trivia with Mark Dantzer – Test your bops knowledge from boy bands to Beyoncé.

→ Prove you’re the playlist master

Thursday, April 10

🥂 Cocktails at the Conservatory: Masquerade Edition ($30–$35) – Garden party meets mysterious flair. Dress up and sip pretty.

→ Play mysterious while secretly eyeing the hors d'oeuvres

🎨 Marble Art at Brush Crazy – Hands-on fun that doubles as home decor. Way cooler than that Pinterest board you abandoned.

→ Get messy with purpose

👻 Booze & Boos Walking Tour – Ghost stories and strong pours. Who said history was boring?

→ Get haunted & hydrated

📸 Picture of the Week

POV: You just realized your snack stash has been compromised.

Shoutout to @abito_OSU_Econ for capturing this tense moment of a squirrel caught mid-heist in Goodale Park. 🐿️👀

Add #ColumbusCuriosity to your photo for a chance to be featured next week :)

That’s a wrap, folks. Whether you’re house-hunting, meat-devouring, or just trying to dodge construction, remember: Columbus keeps us humble (usually via parking tickets).

Got a tip? A rant? A strong opinion on traffic cameras? Hit reply—we’re listening.

Until next time, stay curious, stay caffeinated, and may your Blizzard be 85 cents.

— Nate

Columbus Curiosity